This particular quote struck a cord with me today. 6 years ago to this day I had just had a week pass after I suffered a miscarriage. I never thought I could feel so miserable in my life but there it was.

I didn’t feel like anything could get better. And it didn’t, not for the next few months at least. I had gone back to work around this time. I did my job, I smiled with the children I looked after, but to be honest I got to a point where I was numb to everything. I felt like I couldn’t feel, and my partner at the time went on as normal. (or what felt like it)

I think what made the experience so traumatic was that I felt so alone. He didn’t come with me to the hospital. Or come see me. People I thought would be there were not there and because of this, I didn’t reach out to others cos well, what was the point?

It was a very dark time in my life, this was the first look I got into living with depression.

It took me a long time but, with support from my closest friends, disconnecting myself with negativity, a few sessions of counselling and also getting myself motivated as best as I could, whether it was a split second of it, I got through it.

I am very proud of myself.

The whole experience was something that filled me with fear every day. But, as time has gone on and as I have grown older, it scares me less and less. Sure, I get moments where things feel a bit overwhelming and I suppose in some way I feel a bit stunted in my emotions and feel I can’t express them the way I used to.

But its shown me to not give up. It took me so long to love my books again, my favourite place to get away. It has been a year now since I got that back. It has also shown me I should never take anything less than what I deserve. I didn’t deserve to be left alone. I didn’t deserve to suffer alone. But I know my value.

Because of this I am much more confident and thrive on taking on challenges, instead of hiding.

Like everyone else that has gone through a traumatic experience. You deserve everything and more. You should be proud of yourself. For being here today. 😊

Much love,

Gemma x

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