Day 64 of positiveness

This one has hit me hard today, although in a good way of course! (positivity woo!)

I sometimes feel at this point before I turn 30, I need to get it together and have certain things. But I haven’t and its okay. I am going at my own pace and should do things for me, not for others.

I still can’t stop feeling negative at times about what I have not got, and it does bring me down a notch.

However, challenging myself and doing things to better myself is making me more hopeful for what is happening now and what is to come. As long as I believe in myself and accept what comes, I will be okay.

It is in myself to choose the destiny I want for myself, whether it’s at a different pace from another.

Day 57 of positiveness

I feel on good days I can do this, however when days haven’t gone as well as I would like I can find it hard to find the positives. And that is okay.

We are human and it is human of us to feel all sorts of emotions. Even the negative. However I’m looking at how I can cut the negative feelings short and see the positive, even in things that may seem so insignificant.

What do you do to try and see the good in things, even if it is a small positive?

Anger vs laughter

This I can definately agree with! I don’t handle being angry well- I just prefer not to get angry! But when I have I tend to feel awful for hours after and can be a bit poorly.

I like the thought of laughter making the immune system better! Laughter is the best medicine after all! Even when it’s snort/crying/hyena laughter 😂.

Day 36 positiveness

This particular quote struck a cord with me today. 6 years ago to this day I had just had a week pass after I suffered a miscarriage. I never thought I could feel so miserable in my life but there it was.

I didn’t feel like anything could get better. And it didn’t, not for the next few months at least. I had gone back to work around this time. I did my job, I smiled with the children I looked after, but to be honest I got to a point where I was numb to everything. I felt like I couldn’t feel, and my partner at the time went on as normal. (or what felt like it)

I think what made the experience so traumatic was that I felt so alone. He didn’t come with me to the hospital. Or come see me. People I thought would be there were not there and because of this, I didn’t reach out to others cos well, what was the point?

It was a very dark time in my life, this was the first look I got into living with depression.

It took me a long time but, with support from my closest friends, disconnecting myself with negativity, a few sessions of counselling and also getting myself motivated as best as I could, whether it was a split second of it, I got through it.

I am very proud of myself.

The whole experience was something that filled me with fear every day. But, as time has gone on and as I have grown older, it scares me less and less. Sure, I get moments where things feel a bit overwhelming and I suppose in some way I feel a bit stunted in my emotions and feel I can’t express them the way I used to.

But its shown me to not give up. It took me so long to love my books again, my favourite place to get away. It has been a year now since I got that back. It has also shown me I should never take anything less than what I deserve. I didn’t deserve to be left alone. I didn’t deserve to suffer alone. But I know my value.

Because of this I am much more confident and thrive on taking on challenges, instead of hiding.

Like everyone else that has gone through a traumatic experience. You deserve everything and more. You should be proud of yourself. For being here today. 😊

Much love,

Gemma x